Good gracious

Boy, this is one ugly-ass sweater.

"I tried to take that supreme loseriness of wearing a assy sweater vest over a shirt, and incorporate it all into one UberUgly sweater. Which is exacerbated by the most heinous, unflattering colors that have ever been known to man."

I do like the Starsky, though. Although I have a feeling after seeing an unfortunate picture of a rather well-endowed woman posing in her one-button cardigan from IK, that it might be the sort of thing that is better left to the svelte, as it has the possibility of making me look like a pudgy snowman.

Let's talk about skill level

This is prompted by the Knitting Olympics. I am not so much a joiner of things as other people are, and I really don't like to deadline myself when it comes to my knitting. I might joing a knitalong if the mood strikes me, but generally I'm kind of a loner when it comes to this kind of stuff. I have a few questions, possibly, but that's what the internet is for, and as time progresses, I find that with a little judicious googling and some sitting down and actually thinking about it, I can figure out what's going on.

And also, look, I realize that the potential for flamewars in knitting blogs his huge (and hilariously overwrought, but I guess if you really are into something and it turns into a community, then there it is). But I have to say I was really sort of disappointed with how far people really were willing to push themselves.

And I realize that it's not my place and that it's none of my business if you want to knit scarves out of Lion Brand for the rest of your life, but when the challenge is to do something challenging, I hardly thing a sock is the thing. Even if you're a scarf knitter. I mean, you've got two weeks, dude, pick something else! Pick something that is going to require some sweat, some tears, some blood! Short rows are not it.

This is all coming from a process knitter. I get bored, about halfway through, of the same old thing and end up having to push myself through to get that sense of accomplishment. But the thing is that knitting is not rocket science. So you screw up something, or don't put something else where it needs to be - rip it back and fix it, or ignore it and make it up as you go along.

I know, I am a jerk, and I am not really that interested in people's stupid wristwarmers (oh my god, wrist warmers and ponchos are going to be the goddamned death of me), and would rather see something that has required some effort, some resolve, some real hardcore attempt and bringing oneself beyond what has been done in the past. I want to always be able to say "this is a new thing I've done" with every project I start. Otherwise what's the point? Padding my wardrobe with sweaters that cost $160? When I live in Texas?

Bi-color cables body

Bi-color cables body
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

This is what I'm working on now.

It's the pattern from IK Winter '05. Yarn is Austermann Barkarole in Glacier Grey and Nordic Blue.

This is the body mostly finished (without the hem sewn up). I am pretty happy with how quickly I'm progressing on it. Also, I'm happy that I can take the sleeves with me to Houston this weekend as they're more portable.

Cross-Country Rainbow Chullo Past Project # something

Cross-Country Rainbow Chullo
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

This was my first fair-isle. Pattern is Cross-Country from Knitty.

This is without a doubt, the thing I have used the most that I have made. It got really cold a week ago and I wore the shit out of it.

Turns out that fair isle is not the time to do tension experimentation. The top looks a little Basil's Cathedral for me, but nobody will notice and if they do, I punch them in the throat.

And so, my tassels aren't done. So what?

Lily of the Valley Stole

Mom's Stole
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

Pattern is this one (oh my god, I paid for a pattern).

Yarn is Copper Zephyr. (I used a little over two skeins, so it was pretty econonomical and I made it longer than the pattern said).

This was actually a really good experience from beginning to end for me. There are a few mistakes where I think I missed a YO somewhere, and then tried to fix it three rows later, in a daring bid of confidence that did not so much pay off (do not overestimate your skill level, grasshopper, but I will talk about that in another post). But nobody will notice, and if they do (mainly my mother, who I made this for), I will tell her to shove it as I spent hours and hours knitting thread.

The yarn is lovely, and my god, I can not wait to do another Fiddlesticks pattern because the instructions were gloriously easy to follow. I wish everyone wrote instructions like they do.

I still haven't sent this to my mom. It is sitting on my desk in my knitting room/office as I type this. Poor forlorn wrap.

Koigu Gloves - Past Project #3

Koigu Gloves
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

Pattern from here.

I think either I did not measure my hands correctly or that pattern kind of sucks because those gloves make my hands look like Mr. Potato Head's. Except more psychedelic.

I do like the Koigu, but that is probably because it is one of my favorite yarns.

I mentioned on the picture caption that the fingers on the left hand look very nipply, and that was performed due to the pattern. I recommend doing a less tapered round of decreases per finger so you don't look so creepy.

Actually, I would just recommend finding one of the brazilian different stupid fucking patterns of fingerless gloves (almost as stupid as the goddamned wristwarmers that are so ubiquitous, and it's like, dude, my wrists have never been cold) and just knitting to the end of your finger, do a K2 tog round of decreases and then pull the end through, hat-stylee.

These were knitted for me to smoke cigarettes in without freezing my hands off. Unfortunately, due to their puffiness and general non-fittitude, I handle cigarettes like I have no tendons in my hands.

Kiri shawl - Past Project #2

Kiri shawl
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

Created about a month after the Tank Top of Humiliation, this I actually use. Patteren is here, but it is a pdf so you are warned.

Even though my blocking leaves much to be desired, but that's because my tension on the first half of the cast-off was terrible and you can't make points when the edge is taut as Carmen Electra's breastal skin.

This was done in Peruvian Baby Cashmere in Cashmere Blue (which I think is a misnomer unless they are breeding blue cashmere goats). I have at least 8 balls of this left.

I also have 4 skeins of the Premiere in Azalea left. What I don't have is any idea what to do with them.

Shapely Tank - Past Project #1

Knit shapely tank
Originally uploaded by invinciblegirl.

Okay, so this is the first clothing implement I made, more than a year ago. It's made with Classic Elite Premiere in Azalea. You might not be able to tell the color because I took it in the orchid room I had in the old place, with fluorescent lights, and I look like a corpse.

A corpse with huuuuge tits.

Bored with the endless stockinette (I took on the job in order to learn shaping and stuff. Mostly all I notice now is how the seaming created all this gnarly wrinkliness by my boobs), I decided to do some trinity stitch on the shoulders. Which was a mistake because it looks totally dumb.

I have worn this in public approximately no times.

Original pattern is here

A Knitting Blog

There are people on the internet who would mock me endlessly about the fact that I started a knitting blog. Those people should never find out about this.

But you know, how much can I really tell my husband? The poor sap has totally already learned so much about orchids he's all "phalaenopsis" this and "oncidium" that and I just pity the poor guy when I finally get my spinning wheel which I hope he buys me and like totally soon, fucker.

So this is my super awesome knitting blog, featuring pictures taken by phone camera because I am crappy and have lost two digital cameras in a year and a half and now can not be trusted.